


a regret, and a wish for better.

by Anonymous



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Other, kin memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-08-01 20:44:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16291460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Simple kin memories I needed off my chest; not meant to be read by anyone, but feel free to—I post this because I feel better sharing it somewhere.I am Akira Kurusu. Written in third person because of my writing style, but understand that he isme.I am alright; this is memories from past me, not current me.





	a regret, and a wish for better.

He had a place to belong; a team, which he loved beyond anything—something he cherished, for he had never had something like them before. Something to care for, and something that cared for him.

He loved the Phantom Thieves—they his own, those whom he saw as a family—one he had never had, but admired once he did. 

He can remember many great memories; those of fun times, times they had spent as a family, those they had spent causing trouble and laughing at their misdeeds, those they spent cramming for tests and those they spent in nights-in, watching movies just like a  _family,_ because that was what they were.

He had never had a family; his mother had pushed him aside, and his father was out of the situation; she had no concern for her son, and it wasn't as if she had  _abused_ him, but she gave no care to take care of him further than what she had to do—leaving him dinner, giving him necessities to stay healthy—she truly had no care for her son, to what Akira could never see as a mother, as he hardly ever saw his mother—and of course, she would be happy to abandon him, letting her  _misfit_ son leave, packing up his stuff and kicking him out.

He realizes then that his mother frowning as she shuts the curtains to their home, watching as he's pushed into a police car would be the last time he would see his mother—knowing once his year was up of rehabilitation, he would be out of high school and left to fend on his own, his mother having no care to open her doors for her only son, never wishing to speak to him again within her life. 

His family became the Phantom Thieves, and so he would enjoy his time with them.

———

A small crush on Yusuke would come his way; something inconvenient and laughable, but something that would take up most of his summer as he drafts off in thought about the male, noticeable by other Phantom Thieves, but not by the man himself.

He would have talks with Ann and Makoto about such—about dumb feelings, and little crushes—but nothing would come out of the situation, and he would soon move on before he could confess his feelings.

He can remember nights where they would force him in on their ' _Girl's Night_ 's, making him sit there as they floofed their hair and did their names and had chats about all the drama, and what was going on in their life—and worst of all, his feelings on his crush, something he still blushes thinking about.

Ryuji would notice too, and so would Morgana (not able to _not_ realize, always there with Akira), but he would only get slight encouragement from the two to confess his feelings, both not much for romance or "the right moment".

———

He enjoyed coffee; making it was a delight, and the sight of his friends faces after a cup warmed his heart. He can remember once, Ryuji marveling at the bitter taste and how _he never thought he'd actually **like** this stuff... _ which brought a chuckle from the black-haired man, and a smile.

He enjoyed coffee as well; it was a favorite of his, and working at a coffee shop was something great for that obsession he had acquired. Sojiro would marvel at the abundant amount of coffee beans they were missing, but never would go beyond teasing the boy—knowing full well he was deserving of the treat after his hard work.

———

Even when he was reckless and show-offy, always trying to be the best, he cared for his team above anything else and always sought out the best for them. Like a true leader, his intent was to protect the Phantom Thieves above his own life, as he took pride in their trust in him by allowing him the title of leader.

His team's best interest was his best interest, and he always put them above anything else; in missions, he would shield them himself, and when worst came to worst, he was always there to save the day, because he was there for them above anything just as a leader was.

Except the time when he was unable to reach them—something he curses himself for every day, burning himself with self hate for being unable to save the lives of those he cared for.

He would shut himself in until he was forced away from his own coven of depression, pushed to a mental hospital until he would escape, now living his life on the streets, still carrying the weight of his dead teammates.

However, as much as he wanted to kill himself for being useless, for being unable to save them, he knew he had to continue living for their sake, to hold the weight of the Phantom Thieves.

But he still continued to shut himself in, locking his memories away from himself so he could live on, not baring the pain of those close to him—so he would not have to relive that situation, again and again—but this would cause a memory loss to most other things, only allowing him to remember some of his life, the rest falling to amnesia by his own fault.

Even after it all, he was unable to live with the haunting fact that he had killed his family, so he would force himself to forget,

 


End file.
